2025
is a personal, creative vision quest of sorts – I’m focusing on reconnecting with my creative core and transitioning into a full-time artistic life in 2026. I'm using "The Creative Ambush" by Matteo di Pascale as my (somewhat unconventional) guide on this adventure.
The book's first section, "To Demolish," really resonated with me. It's not about actual demolition or destroying things. Instead, it's about stripping away some of the “rules” we have been conditioned to follow. The biggest takeaway for me? I am the main variable, and I have the power to change everything. Another big one - we don't control creativity. I can’t just schedule time and expect to be creative. I've found I can nudge it, maybe even predict its general direction, but trying to control it is never going to happen. This reminds me of another angle on forcing creativity - despite what some corporate "innovation" consultants might have told us in all those leadership skills workshops, you can't actually learn to be creative. You can learn to paint, draw, or use software, but I believe, creativity is about tapping into something that is (mostly) already there.
Another “rule” that I am shedding is the idea that creativity requires grit and grind. It's not, however, about white-knuckling my way to some creative masterpiece. Sure, honing skills takes practice, like anything else. But true creative moments? It's like when you’re redecorating a room and it just doesn’t feel right, then you realize all you have to do is move the furniture around and BOOM, it’s perfect. It's not forced; it just happens. And you yell (often to yourself) “I’m a freaking genius”. Then you’re hit with that feeling of being full of warmth and sunshine, like the universe just high-fived your soul.
This brings to mind a Steve Jobs quote that has always stuck with me: "Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn't really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while." That's exactly how it feels for me when an idea clicks – like I just noticed something that was always there, waiting to be connected.
And this is where things get truly personal for me: I'm dismantling those silent societal "shoulds" that tell me how I'm supposed to live and act my age. It's not that I have ever obsessed over what others thought of me personally. More like an unconscious assumption that certain ways of living – like dedicating a whole room in my house for yarn and beads, pursuing art as a primary focus at 50-something or going out in public with paint all over my clothes – were crazy or not "the norm." Now, when those oddball ideas hit, or I find myself zoning out staring intently at a rock for an hour – that's perfectly fine. If I'm suddenly hit with an idea for a bracelet while at the grocery store or want to crochet a Christmas ornament at the bar, so be it. I'm discovering that my quirks – being a bit odd, introverted, talking to myself – are just part of me. And it's okay, even if people roll their eyes at a woman my age sitting on the floor with a coloring book. My creative brain doesn't need to be perfect; it just needs to be expressed and not dismissed.
I've known over the years that thinking differently doesn't make me wrong. And now I understand that enthusiasm alone will not make me creative. Nor will having a bunch of great ideas. Ideas, for me, are like dust bunnies – they accumulate everywhere. Creativity is the doing, the connecting, the making something out of those random sparks.
It's also been easy for me to fall into the comparison trap – measuring my abilities, art, or status against others. Or comparing my beginning to someone else's beginning - or even worse, comparing my beginning to someone else's 30 year pursuit. But I'm learning that my creative path is precisely that: mine. Full stop. What lights my fire might leave someone else cold, and vice versa. I can't let the curated highlight reels on social media dictate my personal definition of a creative win.
Ultimately, the deepest realization for me is that the only person I owe anything to in this creative pursuit is myself. I think this might be why I never fully pursued an artful, creative life before. It's easy to get into the rhythm of doing what is expected to make money and advance, even if it's not what truly calls to you. Maybe it's scary to go out and be different, but either way, this journey is about me taking responsibility for my own creative fulfillment.
So, for me, it's time to fully embrace my inner weirdo, ignore the "shoulds" that tell me how to age, and just start connecting things. It’s about noticing the little details around me that spark inspiration – the way light hits a tree, the texture of moss on a stone – and letting those connections guide my hands.
The next section of "The Creative Ambush" is titled "To Awaken." That sounds promising. Time to rock and roll...